A Student Athlete in Recovery

According to the NCAA, eating disorders are more common in female athletes than in male athletes. Because eating disorders develop or resurface during times of transition, freshmen athletes are more susceptible. The National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders reported that eating disorders are 10% more common in judged sports such as gymnastics or diving than refereed sports like soccer or basketball. Certain sports like Crew require their athletes to be a certain weight to put them in a boat. The pressure to perform and look a certain way can lead to the development of eating disorders in young women.

In rugby, I don't feel this pressure to look a certain way. In fact, it's been my biggest motivator for weight restoration. But it makes things harder in recovery. Because I am undergoing weight restoration, I am supposed to be limiting my movement, but I practice three times a week and play an 80-minute game each weekend. My treatment team is willing to let me continue rugby because they know how much it motivates me in recovery.

Last week I asked my dietician if she would give the okay in letting me play the entire rugby game rather than just the half I had played the week before. The week prior, my coach pulled me out despite being perfectly fine to continue playing. I didn't want the same thing to happen again because I wanted to play.  My dietician thanked me for asking her and then, in a very nice way, told me not to play the whole game.

This past Saturday, I played the full 80 minutes of a rugby game in my favorite position of fullback. We only had 14 out of 15 people needed on the field at a time, and there was no room for me not to play the whole game. I went up to my coach before the game and told her to let me play as long as I could and that I would tell her if I needed to come out. I knew my dietician wouldn't be thrilled to know I was playing the whole game, especially after she told me not to. I decided I would have an extra snack to make up for it and that would have to be enough.

It's wild how much better I play when I'm feeding my body. In games last year, I would nearly pass out multiple times. I would get dizzy and light-headed, my blood sugar would crash and I would feel seconds away from falling over. This game though, despite being told not to play the whole game, was one of my best games. I had so much more energy than I used to. I could run and run without feeling like I would collapse. I'm so happy to be feeding my body because I finally feel like myself on the field again. Thank you rugby for giving me a reason to live my life.